How to Stop the Pain

by Dr. James B. Richards

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. 

How to Stop the Pain will free you from the forces that would turn you into a victim. It offers a step-by-step process that will liberate you from the pain of the past and protect you from the pain of the future.

  • Break the secret link to the pain of the past

  • Identify the number one source of suffering

  • Never be hurt by another insult

  • Free yourself from the need to judge others

  • Experience freedom from criticism

  • Learn the only biblical way to prevent pain

Quotes from How to Stop the Pain:
Most people have never acquired the tools necessary for resolving personal hurt. As a result, hurt grows into bitterness, sorrow, depression, and eventual loss of physical health. Our future becomes controlled by a past that has locked us into an unending cycle of more hurt and disappointment. 

What I give to others emotionally and relationally is what they give back to me. 

Nothing that happens outside of you has the power to hurt you until you judge it. Only when you judge something does it bear significance in your life. Let me say it another way. When people do something, you judge why they did it; you decide what their motive was. Once you determine (judge) the motive, you give that event significance, or power. 

We do not fall accidentally. We fall in response to events and circumstances. It is true, there are people out there who wrong us by deliberately attempting to make us fall. However, most offenses have nearly nothing to do with us. People are   not doing things because of us; they are doing things because of who they are. In our haste to judge, we assume that they do what they do because of us.

You see, emotional pain becomes our window to the world. We look at everything around us and judge it in light of our past pain. Unfortunately, gazing through this framework creates an endless cycle of new pain and a reaffirmation of our false paradigm of life. For the person    in pain, the past equals the future. Life become as series of reoccurring pains that never seems to end.

Once we are free from pain, the world looks different, and our experience becomes different. When living in a place of peace and freedom from fear of future pain, we make new decisions and establish an entirely new basis for life. In the absence of distorted thinking, we can identify the critical factors for life.

The subject of study was Jim Richards’ book, How to Stop the Pain. And I can honestly say it has been the most pivotal book in my life. Every time we met, I walked away with an “aha” moment which I could apply to my everyday life. Helping me to understand that I have choices endowed me with incredible dignity.

Julie’s brilliant way of making these new concepts understood and her enthusiasm for self-discovery made the whole process enjoyable. Her kind words and understanding, as well as her tears, gave me courage and touched my heart. I would definitely recommend the book study to anyone interested in personal growth and maturity.
— Anette

CHAPTER TITLES*
How to Stop the Pain   

  • What is Judgment?

  • Breaking the Power of Pain

  • The Power of Significance

  • Observers, Not Judges

  • Fixing You is Killing Me

  • "You're the Problem, Not Me!"

  • The Critical Eye

  • Knowing the Boundaries

  • Identifying Behavior Patterns

  • Destroying Every New Relationship

  • Freedom From the Judgment of Others

  • Overcoming the Need to Judge

  • Freedom From Self-Judgment

  • Judging God

  • Spiritual Gifts and Judgment

  • Relationships That Work

  • Confession: The Pathway to Peace

  • Suicidal Self-Judgment

  • Freedom From the Pain of the Past

  • Living Out of God's Judgment

  • The Love Factor

*A representative, not a comprehensive chapter list