by Dr. James B. Richards
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
How to Stop the Pain will free you from the forces that would turn you into a victim. It offers a step-by-step process that will liberate you from the pain of the past and protect you from the pain of the future.
Break the secret link to the pain of the past
Identify the number one source of suffering
Never be hurt by another insult
Free yourself from the need to judge others
Experience freedom from criticism
Learn the only biblical way to prevent pain
Quotes from How to Stop the Pain:
Most people have never acquired the tools necessary for resolving personal hurt. As a result, hurt grows into bitterness, sorrow, depression, and eventual loss of physical health. Our future becomes controlled by a past that has locked us into an unending cycle of more hurt and disappointment.
What I give to others emotionally and relationally is what they give back to me.
Nothing that happens outside of you has the power to hurt you until you judge it. Only when you judge something does it bear significance in your life. Let me say it another way. When people do something, you judge why they did it; you decide what their motive was. Once you determine (judge) the motive, you give that event significance, or power.
We do not fall accidentally. We fall in response to events and circumstances. It is true, there are people out there who wrong us by deliberately attempting to make us fall. However, most offenses have nearly nothing to do with us. People are not doing things because of us; they are doing things because of who they are. In our haste to judge, we assume that they do what they do because of us.
You see, emotional pain becomes our window to the world. We look at everything around us and judge it in light of our past pain. Unfortunately, gazing through this framework creates an endless cycle of new pain and a reaffirmation of our false paradigm of life. For the person in pain, the past equals the future. Life become as series of reoccurring pains that never seems to end.
Once we are free from pain, the world looks different, and our experience becomes different. When living in a place of peace and freedom from fear of future pain, we make new decisions and establish an entirely new basis for life. In the absence of distorted thinking, we can identify the critical factors for life.
How to Stop the Pain
What is Judgment?
Breaking the Power of Pain
The Power of Significance
Observers, Not Judges
Fixing You is Killing Me
"You're the Problem, Not Me!"
The Critical Eye
Knowing the Boundaries
Identifying Behavior Patterns
Destroying Every New Relationship
Freedom From the Judgment of Others
Overcoming the Need to Judge
Freedom From Self-Judgment
Spiritual Gifts and Judgment
Relationships That Work
Confession: The Pathway to Peace
Freedom From the Pain of the Past
Living Out of God's Judgment
The Love Factor
*A representative, not a comprehensive chapter list